Well today is Saturday I am now 6 day's post op I did well with my surgery. I was at 288 pounds pre-op came home Wednesday I came home from the hospital and weighed myself and I weighed 305 pounds post op and I knew that was going to happen due to the IV fluids, gasses and etc. Today I'm back down to 295 pounds so not too far from my pre-op weight! Boy I am so thankful I had friends who had this done and warned me ahead of time or I would be depressed right about now lol!! The only things that has me feeling bad right now is I am sick of soup!!!! The taste and texture of it blah! Friday is my follow up appt I'm praying he tells me I can try other stuff! But hey it is what it is and this is just a short period of time and better days are coming! :-) I am so thankful for the wonderful friends I have care pages from Melissa, then Lydia & Diana! Then Judy and Heather brought my mama here to help take care of my babies and then they took me to the hospital and stayed with me until I was released those are some great friends and family right there y'all I am blessed!! I love them and appreciate everyone who helped me out in the past week! I really am not hungry I make myself eat even though I don't want to eat which is a new experience. Well I am going to get off of here and rest a bit just wanted to shoot an update! Hope you all are doing great!!! <3 y'all!
Hello friends!! Well only 4 more day's to go till my big day! One week after my 39th birthday is my surgery date kinda neat I think ya know my surgiversary will be right after my 40th birthday! I am going to take this tool that I am being given and make the most of it and by my 40th birthday I am going to be a whole other woman! I plan on having an awesome year this year and I'm planing on feeling fabulous on my 40th! I'm looking forward to new things and exciting possibilities! Things have all fallen into place though I hit a few snags here and there one with Tricare and then some other little tiny bits but I have now got everything in place! My mama will be here with my babies to make sure that they are alright thank God for mama's right?!? Two of my bestest friends ever are coming down Sunday bringing my mama to me and they are taking me for my surgery and bonus they are staying with me at the hospital gotta love best friends like that I don't know what I'd do without my girls!! I love them! My best friend Melissa was going to come but stuff came up that she had to attend to and I totally understand and I know that she'd be here if she could and I know she'll be thinking about me and praying for me! I love my friends they are the best! My oldest daughter will be driving my babies back and forth to school so they don't have to ride the bus and I don't have to worry about them missing the stop or mama having to walk out the the street with her feet and ankles giving her a fit so thankful Katie will be here to do that love you baby!! My other kids will be pitching in and so will Kyle to help out around the house they agreed to so now a little less stress. I don't have to worry about a thing! I am excited, anxious and nervous I mean hello it is surgery and they are rerouting my digestive system so yeah...there has been noise in the background...Lori are you sure you want to do this thoughts...Lori you know you love you some food and you know you are going to miss xy and z...but I have found myself saying...no I wont miss it and in time I'll be able to eat like a "normal" person and I'll be retrained to make the right and better choices for myself. The thoughts of something going wrong yep it comes to mind I wont lie I have a family I love friends I love kids I want to grow up but also if I stay this way I run the same risk of having a heart attack and it taking me out as well. So there's risk to changing there's risks to remaining the same and I truly want to be able to do more and enjoy more with my children. I want to feel like playing in the park and doing fun things and I want to be able to be all that I can be as a mother and wife without my weight getting in my way! I know God will watch over me I have talked to him every step of the way and I know Jeremiah 29:11-13 Tells me that he knows the plans he has for me and they are to prosper not to harm I believe in these words with all my heart and soul and I know who holds me in the palm of his hands! So here it goes in 4 more day's we are going to make it happen there will be no more sitting on the sidelines and not feeling good and not feeling worthy, and not being everything I can be for my family, friends and most of all for myself for a change! So on August 19th at 1PM I'll be going in for my surgery so pray for me and the medical staff that will be taking care of me, for my family and my friends as well! I'll talk to y'all later!! <3 Y'all!
Haven't updated my blog in a bit not since I got the big news sorry! I know most of you who are reading this are on my facebook so you already know but those who aren't on my facebook here is the big news! My insurance has been approved to see my surgeon and my surgeons referral for surgery has been approved! Now I am a mixture of nervous and excited! Ready to get this started and see the awesome results from the surgery and my hard work cause yep some people do live with the misconception that this is the easy way out but it's not I still have to put forth effort I still have to choose to eat right, I still have to choose to exercise the weight doesn't lose itself! This is just a tool to add to what I have been trying to do since forever! If you see from my lovely diagram that I have posted this will help so many issues I have or don't have already but I have a few of these already and I'm ready to be rid of them! I do realize the surgery comes with risk potential but so does staying the way that I am. I have asked God to guide and lead me if this is his will for my life. There was only one stumbling block put in my way and it was easily removed. So I'm going into this knowing that God has made my way to this point and that he holds me and my future in his hands and he will allow nothing to touch me that hasn't gone through him first! So August 2nd at 9:30AM I have my pre-op appt and on August 5th I start my extremely low carb diet only 20 grams of carbs a day (pray for me pray for those around me) and on August 19th at 1pm is my date and time for surgery! Wayne will be away working at his new job kinda nervous not having him there with me but I have friends who will be there for me and I am grateful for them. This is a big season of changes for our family please keep us all in your prayers. <3
So after all is said and done, after all the being upset. I finally found out just what was wrong and why my PCM referral wasn't going through, and wouldn't you know it just as soon as I got that fixed boom my surgery was approved! Wow this just became really real! All the appointments, I have been through the last five months paid off! I finally came that close and grabbed that golden ring so to speak, after a life time of almost but not quite you know..it feels weird I was extremely happy when I saw both referrals go through yet now I feel really nervous about the surgery, it is major surgery I suppose this is a normal feeling to be having, second guesses...but I know I have asked God for his favor in this and I have sought him and I trust in him to continue to lead me through this process. I asked for his will not my own, though I did fight for it a little by seeing to my referral being put in properly. I have a surgeon that doesn't just put me in his hands but he puts me in God's hands and you know that to me is very reassuring and comforting to know my doctor though he went to medical school and though he practices medicine and does all these surgery's still talks to the almighty, the one true God and trust him with me as well as him. My life is fixing to change big time and I'm praying it is for the good! That all will go smoothly and that I'll recover and lose the weight I need to and live the life with my family that I want to live! I'm tired of aches and pains I want to be free, I want to be happy, I don't want to feel other people's judgmental stairs most of all I want to increase my quality and length of life to be able to enjoy my babies and hopefully one day grand-babies(not anytime soon though). I don't want anything to cut my time here short because I want to see them grow, be happy and healthy productive adults and I'd like to enjoy the rest of my years with my husband till we are old and gray and cranky geezers threatening each other with our walking canes lol! Please friends continue to keep me and my family in your prayers in the days and weeks that lay ahead through the 2 week diet of no more than 20 grams of carbs that will have me turning into some evil woman lol and the crankiness from feeling rough after surgery. Please pray that God's hand guides my surgeons hand and that I go through this with no major complications. Also my husband is seeking employment as well currently he is on terminal leave from the USAF he will be officially retired as of Sept.1st I know God has a plan for us! Well I am going to close for now I need sleep as tomorrow is Sunday and our final day of VBS been a great week with the kids and my church family I love them so much and I enjoy working with the kids at Wise Drive! Well good night and God Bless you all!!
So sorry I haven't blogged in awhile things had been going smoothly however we have hit an hiccup and I'm not happy about it I am kinda angry! By the way feel free to share this blog because quite honestly I'm going to be very real, very open, very honest and very blunt with my feelings on the insurance industry and a few other aspects of this process and I want it to really reach out there! I'm done being the one that get's pushed around, sat aside and treated like a number like nothing more than just another person. I refuse to sit by and watch others live their lives yet not live my fully the way God intended it to be lived. I refuse to take no for an answer and I will not back down nor will I swallow the costs of my appts thus far. So you see somewhere along the line my PCM failed to put in my referral with Tri Care like a good PCM, we all goof but this goof is going to cost me money out of pocket to cover my appts thus far with the weight loss clinic if it don't get fixed and if it don't get approved then my surgery wont get approved! I did not make the choice to have RNY gastric bypass lightly this took me YEARS and yes I mean YEARS to finally commit myself to this! And when I commit myself to something I don't let go of it easily! I almost let this defeat me I almost let go and almost gave up but you know what...not this one sorry! I am sick of how the average perception of the average obese person! We aren't all lazy slobs sorry I know many obese brothers and sisters and they are not either lazy or slobs! Sometimes we have things wrong with us that contribute to our weight gain issues. So the insurance companies like to complain that us obese people cost them more and more money for our medication, well then dear insurance company how about you give us a freaking hand when we are asking for help to lose the weight instead of making it hard to get the help some of us might require????? Why put us through so much stress do you not realize stress contributes to weight gain as well??? So my PCM attempted to right her wrong and put in the referral and well Tri Care rejected it cause they want more information okay game on Tri Care challenged accepted! I will get this I will make it happen I will not give into defeat, I will not let them tell me no not without a fight! So they wanted more information that is why they denied my request so I have an appt with my doctor my PCM tomorrow morning and I have compiled quite the list as to why I should be seen at the weight loss clinic once that get's done then the weight loss clinic can resubmit my information granted I am kinda furious with the mishandling of them not ensuring they had the referral I assumed since they made my appts and knew what insurance I had they had approval for it, also I assumed that since they checked my records four times that they had it cause they didn't mention that being missing. They will hear about my thoughts about their poor office management at a later time first things first! Here is my list of health issues that aren't helped by my obesity and why I need to lose weight and why I DESERVE the help I want and am requesting!
To whom it may concern please find a list of past, present and possible future health issues that can be linked to my morbid obesity in no certain order:
1. Diagnosed with PCOS in 2008 while living in the UK was sent to an endocrinologist when I couldn't lose anymore weight. There should be a referral back in Tri Care somewhere as I was referred to an off base provider. I was told by that Endocrinologist that I had PCOS and that I'd never loose all the weight I needed to lose without weight loss surgery but yet I told him nah I wasn't buying that because I was not ready to commit myself to that drastic of measures, though now after years of trying and failing I am more than ready willing and able.
2. My hands, feet and ankle have sever swelling.
3. Major joint pain in my knees, hip,feet and also my back as well as numbness in my feet.
4. I have had on two different occasions cellulitus first case in 2002 latest case in 2012 which left me hospitalized for a whole week at Toumey hospital here in Sumter,SC the attending physican told me that if I'd lose some weight that it would lessen my chances of yet another occurrence.
5. 2001-2013 I have battled mild depression due to my obesity I am not happy and to be honest I have probably been depressed the vast majority of my life due to my weight but I have been medicated for it off and on between 2001-2013.
6. Feb 2012 I had kidney stones which it has been proven in studies that obesity doesn't help that issue either.
7. My family medical history alone should convince anyone that I need help before it get's worse than it has been both parents are diabetics, both parents have high blood pressure, high cholesterol and heart disease. This is my future should I not get help which will cost my insurance company dearly in medication and possible hospital stays should I not get the help I need and deserve!
8. 2012 I had my gallbladder my weight could have contributed to that as well.
9. I have really bad acid reflux/gerd water even gives me reflux.
10. I currently have a hiatal hernia as well which can be associated with obesity from what I have read online.
11. I have tried many many times to lose weight on my own, I could, and probably should write a book with all the knowledge I have gained through lots of reading, research and trying different things to lose weight.
12. My BMI is around 48.4 (that should say it all right there)
13. My thyroid has nodules and obesity has been linked to the cause of nodules top that with the fact I have a family medical history of hypo and hyperthyroidism.
14. Irregular menstrual cycles (which can be linked to the PCOS)
15.Vitamin D deficiency which can also cause some weight gain.
16. Fatty Liver awhile back I had bloodwork and my bilirubin was a little off and I was given and ultrasound which showed some fat around my liver.
17. Pre-cancerous cervical cells were found in 2001 and I was treated succesfully but that is even linked to obesity as well.
So many reason's that I should be approved...good valid reasons! I wont give up they are going to get so sick of me I remember the old adage the squeaky wheel get's the grease...I don't like complaining and I don't like having to fight but I will do what I have to do to ensure things go this way because I see it as a way to add years to my life, time with my husband, time with my children and my future grandchildren. I see it as my opportunity to live my life for a change I have hid almost 40 years behind this body, I have felt not accepted, not good enough, unworthy and I refuse to carry that another 40 years. People fail to see the real person underneath the fat...they don't see or know the tears I have cried because I didn't feel accepted or acceptable. They don't know how bad it hurt to be picked last because you were fat and all that drama that goes along with it. For once I want to know what it feels like to be just a normal person in a normal body and not looked at like a side show freak. This is my chance to make my life better and I wont let any stupid insurance company or any stupid error on the part of my PCM or on the part of the clinic stand in my way! I am going after what I deserve with a bull dog tenacity. I hope that if you are reading this and you ever find yourself in my position that you NEVER give up NEVER back down and don't take NO for an answer.
So I heard from my surgeon's office today, and I have my appointment to meet with him next Friday June 21st at 10AM before I head out of town to go to the beach to celebrate my 16 year old's birthday! This sure has been an interesting trip to get this far lots of hard work, appts. and I know once I have the surgery my work has only just begun! So after my appointment they will submit my paperwork and information to Tri Care and hopefully if this is God's will, it will be approved. If this does happen rather quickly as I have heard others say that their stuff got processed super fast I could have my surgery come July if it all goes well. Now that I have reached this point I have to say I'm excited and nervous! But I'm also glad that Wayne has retired now so he can be there for me although we are praying hard that the right job comes along soon for us as a family but I know in God's time and God has all my answers and he holds my every moment and there is nothing we can't face as a family with God by our sides! So keep me in your prayers, keep us all in your prayers! <3 Me
Hi friends long time no blog took some blogging time off! I have a lot to update y'all on so sit down and buckle up! :-) Life has been busy busy busy lately! School, hubby's retirement, gearing up to go home for a visit, gearing up for a weekend at the beach for my daughters 16th birthday just busy! I had my final weigh in with my doctor on the 7th yay I had some loss not as big as the first two months but I knew that was going to be the case! I got my Psych Eval today the doctor handed over my letter of evaluation and I hand delivered my 3mths of weight management paperwork, my echocardiogram paperwork and my Psych evaluation they scanned it in and said I was good to go and someone would call me by Friday with my appt to meet with my surgeon and then they would submit my paperwork to Tri Care so hopefully I'll be approved for my RNY Bypass and I can lose all this weight!! I am super excited!! I am hoping they will do it by July! Come on Tri Care be good to me lol!! My Psychologist said in his report that I was an excellent candidate for the surgery and he recommended it for me. He said I wasn't as crazy as others would like to believe ha ha ha!! He said that I internalized my anger too much (ha he should live with me those that know me know that I can tolerate a lot but once I reach a point I'm going to let you have it!!), He said that I was a perfectionist, That I also was very critical of myself (duh you think?) and that I down played my success. We all have issues so I didn't expect to come back all rosie happy!In other news my husbands retirement luncheon and his ceremony was this week! Yesterday was his retirement ceremony and after 20 years in the USAF he is out of there! It has been a crazy nine years almost for us (that's how long we have been married) me and the kids followed him where ever the USAF has sent him because where he was, was home. So yesterday during the ceremony I had to pin on his retirement pin it was to go on the left lapel of his blues I was afraid I'd get confused and pin it on the right because facing him my left is his right so I devised a plan to focus on his left ring finger where I placed that wedding ring on his finger 9 years ago this July 2nd, I got to thinking when I married him he was in the USAF I had to share his time and attention for the last almost 9 years I had to let him go and do his job, I have had to stand by his side and understand that it is service before self and we have sacrificed together but I put that ring on his left hand and he put the ring on my left hand almost nine years ago for better or worse and I knew exactly what I was getting into when I said I do...but yesterday I pinned on this retirement pin and to me it symbolized the end of the sharing it was like marrying him all over again and this time it isn't service before self it's a whole new marriage in my eyes as of yesterday I got my actual husband back, there will be no more deployments, no more TDY's, no more stresses of being mommy and daddy, no more missing out on special occasions there will be no more war for us God has gotten us this far safely and we have managed to keep our marriage bandaged up and together through the rough times...this is an interesting time of getting to know and learn what it feels like to have him be all mine and the kids! This is a time of so many different emotions with the whats next thought running through our minds whats next where do we go from here....God holds all those answers and the best answer I could find for us during this time of transition can be found in Jeremiah 29: 11-13 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I don't know his plans, but I know they are better than anything I can imagine God's plans are always the best ones! So join me in praying for God's will for our family and that he will guide our footsteps as well embark on this next chapter of our lives and a job or jobs will become available for us so we can provide for our family! Pray that I keep an open mind that if things don't go in the direction I would like them to go in (closer to home) that I will graciously accept God's will and not become soured just because things didn't go my way. So that's what's going on with us! My daughter Adreanna will be turning 16 next week woo hoo growing on up on me! Kids are all home for the summer everyone is moving on up grade wise I have a 10th grader, 7th grader, 3rd grader and a 2nd grader!! That's all I have for now I'll let y'all know when I get my appt with the surgeon! <3 me
