Hello everyone!!! I hope you all are doing fantabulous! I'm just passing time anxiously awaiting the next month to hurry on up and get here come on 21st! It seems funny how I waited and waited and waited to even consider gastric bypass as an option, as a tool to help me lose weight. I have been thinking lately that I wished I hadn't waited so long, I mean by the time I finally have the surgery I will be 39 years old almost 40 years of my life lived trapped in the body I have had, defined by my weight the majority of my life instead of by the person I am on the inside. I guess I just had to be ready mentally to do this! Now I find myself thinking hmm I wonder what I am going to look like when I have lost X amount of pounds, I wonder how I will feel, I wonder what it is like to be a "normal" weight. All of these things I will get to find out just wondering now what took me so long lol! My husband wonders if how I act to him will change if I wont, want to be with him anymore. I guess that is a typical feeling of a spouse. He and I have been through a lot, our marriage has not been one of those perfect romance novels or those happily ever afters that Disney paints for all of us as children! I love him though and I most certainly wont stop being who I am, and who God has created me to be. I'd like to think I'd just be me a better happier and healthier me one with more energy and ready to take on the world and try new things but still the same person who loves with all her heart, gives as much as she can, and does as much as she can for others. On another weight loss note I have found that since I made this choice I am reading and looking at other people who have had the surgery and seeing their progress just blows me away! I have quite a few friends who have had it and I am blown away by their success with the surgery and their weight loss journey they have done phenomenally with it! Now I just wait for my turn and the excitement builds. I thought when I first decided that I would do this I'd keep it to myself and a select few because I feared others judgement and persecution but then I got to thinking so what let them judge me I can't say that I really care I have become rather open about what I'm doing which really isn't like me either, but I have just gotten so excited about this that I bubble and babble at times!
In other news I have decided to continue on with my classes this summer even though I may very well be having my surgery while I am in classes. I just don't want to get off track with my classes in Seminary so I will push ahead and I know that God has me and as long as I am headed in his direction and doing his will for my life then I have nothing to worry about! Well that's all I have for now! Later my friends! <3 ya!
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